These are ongoing posts that were used to inform and/or bless my Facebook friends. It worked, because I frequently heard that my parents were "a hoot!" I haven't put any dates on these because, well, I'm lazy. But it began on April 18, 2015, dad's 93rd birthday, and continues to the most recent. Enjoy!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Please pray for my dad, on this, his 93rd birthday. He's been taken to the hospital, probably due to overexertion.
As we arrived at the folks’ house to pick up mom, our car engine is smoking ... probably leaking antifreeze. Thankful for helpful neighbors!
At hospital now, they're taking him for catscan, don't think it's heart attack. I think he just did too much this last week.
Mutual education society.
Dad wears his WWII Vet cap out to shop. Several people comment on it, ask his age, his story, shake his hand. As we walk on, I hear whispering -- "wow, 95-year-old vet, don't see that much anymore."
The medical assistant was asking mom basic questions about any prescriptions, if she smokes, uses alcohol, etc. Mom can't hear the questions, so I translated loudly, "she wants to know how much Marijuana you smoke every day."
-- How to make nurses fall on the floor laughing
-- How to publicly embarrass mom
I once sent a photo of a fancy walker/chair to my mother (back when she was 88) to see if she would ever consider wanting one when she gets older than she is now! This was her response:
Received this unexpected and lovely gift, from my mother's hairdresser, Julie. She took a photo of mom wearing her favorite heart-shaped sunglasses, and from the photo, she created this marvelous drawing! A keepsake!
Mom says, "Didn't I raise you to be nice to people ... when they can't help it?"
The thrill is gone.
Me: “What about real food -- meat, vegies?”
Dad: “Little Debbie oatmeal pies, milk, preserves.”
Mom: “I always thought cooking was a waste of time.”
For your continual enjoyment, here is the Youtube video of the folks singing their version of Chiquita Banana!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X8D7gbOUgo
As we arrived at the folks’ house to pick up mom, our car engine is smoking ... probably leaking antifreeze. Thankful for helpful neighbors!
At hospital now, they're taking him for catscan, don't think it's heart attack. I think he just did too much this last week.
~~~~~
So they did a catscan on dad first thing yesterday a.m. when he first went in the hospital, and said there's no stroke or heart attack. Did an MRI today,
and he did indeed have a great big stroke. Apparently the ambulance guys said he didn't have a stroke, and dad told them (in very colorful language) that they were wrong! Never argue with the veterinarian!!
Surprisingly, he's still verbal & can use his weakened arm, even feeding himself. As he says, he's a "tough old bird." We're all preparing for a "new normal" with him in rehab & mom needing more attention.
Surprisingly, he's still verbal & can use his weakened arm, even feeding himself. As he says, he's a "tough old bird." We're all preparing for a "new normal" with him in rehab & mom needing more attention.
~~~~~
This morning, mom was feeling bad that we missed church to be with her & dad in the hospital. So I told her how our pastor was teaching in Romans 8, and asked if she'd like me to read some of it to her. She thought that was fine. Not sure she's ever hear or read it before, but she seemed to like it, along with my basic explanations.
God's Word is indeed a comfort.
"Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:35-39)
"Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:35-39)
~~~~~
This a.m. in the hospital with dad, mom says, "I couldn't see too good today, do I have my 'face' on ok, do I look like 'me'?" I said yes & she says, "darn!"
~~~~~
Dad got moved to a rehabilitation hospital this afternoon, for a couple of weeks of strengthening. All things considered, he's in really good shape.
Although it's a long time apart for him & mom, and him and the dogs. Too bad they don't allow for doggie visitation at these places. Guess we'll just have to give him photos.
~~~~~
The good thing about Rehab nurse -- she doesn't care if you sneak in desserts to patients, and when you ask for a plastic fork, she brings you a fistful
for the next week.
~~~~~
So Dad figures if a baby can learn to walk, maybe he can learn to balance & walk again. Good sign.
~~~~~
One good thing about getting way old -- people grin at you as if you were a cute toddler, admire your outfit, speak very nicely to you, hold doors open,
etc. Mom has fun on these excursions. Can’t wait until I’m also cute!
"Both the gray-haired and the aged are among us." (Job 15:10)
"Both the gray-haired and the aged are among us." (Job 15:10)
~~~~~
Cheeseburger, salad, jello, ice cream, cheesecake, hot chocolate = rehab cuisine. And then Mom brings him lemon meringue pie. Incentive to stay with
the program.
~~~~~
Ok, the old fellow is officially deranged -- dad asked mom to bring him more underwear "but not the black ones, they're too sexy, it would drive these nurses here crazy."
~~~~~
Brought him home after one month in rehab!!!
~~~~~
Was informed by the dad that store-bought unbreaded chicken is unusable, and that God intended for man to eat only breaded chicken.
Told him I am woman, so I guess I can eat unbreaded chicken. And that if God wanted otherwise, chicks would be hatched with breading instead of feathers.Mutual education society.
~~~~~
The dad said that he married mom because, of all the girls he dated, she was the only one who couldn't smell the onions on his breath when he ate
burgers.
Learn something new every day!
~~~~~
At Olive Garden -- Mom with heavy water glass: "can they send somebody over to pick up my glass for me?"
~~~~~
Dad calls to tell me he was going to make chicken soup. Had all the ingredients out & ready. Then he looked at the recipe and realized the first
ingredient, chicken broth, is the only thing he didn’t have.
So he says, "the moral of the story is always look at the map before you
start on the trip."
~~~~~
Dad wears his WWII Vet cap out to shop. Several people comment on it, ask his age, his story, shake his hand. As we walk on, I hear whispering -- "wow, 95-year-old vet, don't see that much anymore."
~~~~~
Dad relays story to me -- in pre-dawn morning, he sees his neighbor Ernie bringing his newspaper to him from the sidewalk. Dad calls through his open
window, "thank you Ernie!" And Ernie looks straight up, shocked, like he heard
the voice of God. Gave dad the best laugh he's had in days.
~~~~~
When you take mom to the hearing aid guy & he conveniently has a vacuum cleaner out & he gallantly vacuums stray doggy fur off mom's shirt ...
whatta guy!
"through love, serve one another" (Galatians 5:13)
"through love, serve one another" (Galatians 5:13)
~~~~~
When your mom's haircut appointment is delayed half an hour, and you're almost there, what can you do? You go get ice cream & sit outside chatting
with nice strangers!
Love that small-town feel. At the Snack Shack in Overland Park.
~~~~~
The medical assistant was asking mom basic questions about any prescriptions, if she smokes, uses alcohol, etc. Mom can't hear the questions, so I translated loudly, "she wants to know how much Marijuana you smoke every day."
-- How to make nurses fall on the floor laughing
-- How to publicly embarrass mom
~~~~~
Very thankful today for God's mercy and provision in keeping my folks peacefully in their home without power since Saturday. It was restored about 2:00 today.
They're celebrating with hot coffee, lukewarm cheesecake, and Oreos.
~~~~~
My father's newly-acquired wisdom -- stay away from certain mirrors in the house, because wrinkles show up really bad!
~~~~~
When you're on the phone with the dad, writing down his grocery requests, and he asks for bananas, and starts singing the Chiquita Banana song ... funny
and heartwrenching, all at once.
~~~~~
I once sent a photo of a fancy walker/chair to my mother (back when she was 88) to see if she would ever consider wanting one when she gets older than she is now! This was her response:
"I've seen people using similar things, but this seems to have all the problems solved. We're not ready yet, but
it would be a good one. Does it come in different colors to match my wardrobe ? Does it come in different designs, such as flowers and/or animal prints?? Does it have an emergency siren attached?? Does it have a built-in
TV?? Microwave to warm my TV Dinners?? Locked compartment for money and/or jewelry?? Magnifying mirror for my make-up repair?? These are important things to consider when purchasing a new appliance."
~~~~~
Received this unexpected and lovely gift, from my mother's hairdresser, Julie. She took a photo of mom wearing her favorite heart-shaped sunglasses, and from the photo, she created this marvelous drawing! A keepsake!
~~~~~
Today my hubs said something ridiculous.
I called him an appropriate name.Mom says, "Didn't I raise you to be nice to people ... when they can't help it?"
~~~~~~
When the drill-sergeant-ish old dad repeatedly informs you that you're too nice to people, that you have to be firm & tell people exactly what you
want & not back down, and you & old mom simultaneously yell "shut up!" and he does, and you say to him, "you're right, it works!" and everyone laughs and laughs --
Quality time!
~~~~~
The ultimate compliment from the dad -- "your pancakes are better than Pillsbury, you should start your own business. Do you count all those blueberries?"
About 6 months later, “this morning, we had syrup on our blueberries. There
were so many we couldn’t find the pancakes.”The thrill is gone.
~~~~~
When you bring $50 of requested groceries for the folks, and they hand you a $4 Burger King coupon, saying, "would you go get us burgers, we don't have anything except tv dinners!?"
~~~~~~
How to keep the mom from being bored while waiting for the doctor -- play big band boogie woogie music on your phone! Chair dancing ensues!
~~~~~
Mom says that she used to leave the vacuum cleaner sitting out all the time, so she could tell visitors, "oh, I was just about to vacuum!" This, from the same mom, who used to tell me repeatedly, “whatever you do, do it right!” She even painted it on a rock so I would never forget.
~~~~~
In my folks' kitchen -- lemon cake, chocolate cake, french silk pie, Fritos, waffles, biscuits, ice cream, candies, cookies.
I can't wait till I'm in my 90's.
~~~~~
Mom said she was gonna have a nap. I said that I always wake up feeling "stupid" in the head after naps. She says, "well, when you start out that way, you can't expect to wake up any different."
~~~~~
What I learned on Christmas day -- 2 out of 3 dogs prefer white wine with their beef stew. Little lushes, courtesy of my mother.
~~~~~
So Mom & I were waiting outside the New Theatre for Doug, & she tells the people behind us to go on by ... because she's waiting for a young
man to pick up. Guffaws ensued.
As mom & I were leaving the New Theatre, and she’s walking slowly with her cane, there was another lady next to us, also with a cane. Mom says
to her, “ya wanna race?” Lady says, “I bet I'd win!”
Never stop having fun!
~~~~~
How an old man keeps entertained ... catching mice. Grand total over 2 weeks = 14! Eww.
~~~~~
Memorial day -- He stands up with his walker to observe 30 seconds of silence & salutes.
I feel a catch in the throat.
I feel a catch in the throat.
~~~~~
Me to dad, explaining that I use coconut oil for various things, including on my face as moisturizer.
Dad: "So how come monkeys have such furry faces if they eat coconuts?"
~~~~~~
Dad offers me salty cheeseburger and high-sugar dessert.
Me: “No thanks, I’ll eat at home.”
Him: “You guys eat funny.”
He then winds up with Shakespeare -- “the evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones!” Me: “No thanks, I’ll eat at home.”
Him: “You guys eat funny.”
~~~~~
Dad: “I have a lemon meringue pie for my birthday next week.”
Me: “Okay, what do you want for your lunch?”
Dad: “Lemon merinque pie.”
So, party planning accomplished!
Me: “Okay, what do you want for your lunch?”
Dad: “Lemon merinque pie.”
So, party planning accomplished!
~~~~~
Dad tells me how he tried to superglue a broken china figurine together, and got glue everywhere, and ends the story with, “and the angel got stuck to my pants!”
Can’t stop laughing.
Can’t stop laughing.
~~~~~
Dad counts the biscuits in 20-count bags. Only 19 in bag. Called customer service who sent him a $25 check for his trouble.
Persistence, and boredom, can be a profitable use of time.
~~~~~
Mom told me she dated a guy in high school, last name of Williams ... who went on to be the famous Williams Seasoning guy.
Too bad for me, I could have been part of a dynasty!
Too bad for me, I could have been part of a dynasty!
~~~~~
Me: “What do you want from the grocery store?”
Dad: “Lemon cake, cherry pie, root beer.”Me: “What about real food -- meat, vegies?”
Dad: “Little Debbie oatmeal pies, milk, preserves.”
I’m partly appalled and partly jealous.
~~~~~
Mom’s favorite little mantra, repeated often, to friends and total strangers: “I don’t see too good, and I don’t hear too good ... but I smell good!”
~~~~~
Dad, instructing me on how to choose the proper sweet potato: “not too round, or too big, not long and skinny like a root, but long and thin, like Bette Davis legs.”
I suspect Bette never once thought her legacy would include root vegetables.
I suspect Bette never once thought her legacy would include root vegetables.
~~~~~
Mom: “I always thought cooking was a waste of time.”
~~~~~~
Dad frequently requested Moose Tracks ice cream. But the name changed each time. Sometimes it was Moose Tracks. Or Moose Tail. Or Moose Droppings. But
I lost my love of ice cream the day he requested Foot and Mouth ice cream. Excellent dietary aid.
~~~~~
I reminded mom that she & dad have been married 67 years. She looked aghast, pointed at dad, and said, “to HIM?!” I think she was kidding.
Mom: “No I don’t.”
Me: “I don’t have a clue either.”
Dad walks into the room and mom says, “and here comes another one!”
Dad: “We don’t have anything to eat!!”
Me: “No? What’s in your freezer?”
Dad: “Sliced turkey, sliced pork, beef stew, biscuits, pie …”
Me: “Well, what else would you like?”
Dad: “We don’t have any vegetables!”
Me: “Do you want peas, corn, carrots?”
Dad: “No, no, no. We don’t like most vegetables.”
Me: “By himself? Are you gonna help him?”
Mom: “No, it’s not my job.”
Me: “What IS your job?”
Mom: “Sitting!”
Generation Gap.
Mom: "I can't get all 4 legs into my pantyhose."
It's funny enough when admittance-to- hospital questions for old mom are: *Did you get a tattoo recently? *Could you be pregnant? *Have you been in jail in the last 2 years?
Me to mom: "What do you think we should do for dad's birthday?"
Mom pointed out to me one of her artistic works from years past. I asked if she had signed it. She said, "I think so. It rings a bell. ........ but nobody answered."
Convo #1 --
#2 --
Dad said that he heard you can stay warm in power outages by surrounding yourself with candles. He said all that would do is give enough light so you could see the cold goosebumps on your skin.
~~~~~
Dad to Doug, “Here, try this leather coat on, it’s too big for me, you can
keep it.”
Mom to me, “I have 4 fake fur coats in the closet. But you can’t have them.
Yet.”
~~~~~
Mom to me: "How old are you this birthday?"
Me: "Don't tell anyone. I'm 70!"
Mom: "Well then, how old am I!?"
Mom looking at their elderly dog: “She doesn’t see or hear good. She doesn’t have a clue.”
Me: “Do you have a clue?”Me: "Don't tell anyone. I'm 70!"
Mom: "Well then, how old am I!?"
~~~~~
Mom looking at their elderly dog: “She doesn’t see or hear good. She doesn’t have a clue.”
Mom: “No I don’t.”
Me: “I don’t have a clue either.”
Dad walks into the room and mom says, “and here comes another one!”
~~~~~
As I’m driving mom to an appointment, we pass a schoolyard full of playing children. Mom smiles and says, “they’re so ignorant!”
Pretty sure she meant innocent, but got my laugh for the day!
~~~~~
Dad: “We don’t have anything to eat!!”
Me: “No? What’s in your freezer?”
Dad: “Sliced turkey, sliced pork, beef stew, biscuits, pie …”
Me: “Well, what else would you like?”
Dad: “We don’t have any vegetables!”
Me: “Do you want peas, corn, carrots?”
Dad: “No, no, no. We don’t like most vegetables.”
I suppose food can be confusing in old age.
~~~~~
While chatting with mom on the phone:
Me: “So where’s dad?”
Mom: “In the kitchen, washing dishes.”Me: “By himself? Are you gonna help him?”
Mom: “No, it’s not my job.”
Me: “What IS your job?”
Mom: “Sitting!”
~~~~~
So, I chatted with dad tonight and he told me they had a quiet peaceful weekend. Then he told me about the smoke alarm beeping because of low battery
& he can’t climb a ladder to get it, so he beat it with a cane til it fell down under the bed, still beeping. So he whacked it some more til it stopped screaming.
I see that our definition of “peaceful” is somewhat different.Generation Gap.
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~~~~~~
It's funny enough when admittance-to- hospital questions for old mom are: *Did you get a tattoo recently? *Could you be pregnant? *Have you been in jail in the last 2 years?
But when release forms tell you lifestyle changes to avoid a stroke include not abusing street drugs ... I burst into hysterical laughter at the visual
of mom toddling to the street corner to meet her dealer.
So mom, me, and 2 nurses rolling on the floor laughing = way to end a hospital adventure.
~~~~~~
Mom: "Send him to China!"
Me: "Oh! Does he want to go?"
Mom: "He doesn't know it yet."
~~~~~~
Mom pointed out to me one of her artistic works from years past. I asked if she had signed it. She said, "I think so. It rings a bell. ........ but nobody answered."
~~~~~~
Mom: "where are you taking me?"
Me: (pointing to her ears)
Mom: "to ear doctor, because I can't hear?"
Me: "yes"
Mom: "maybe I don't WANT to hear anything!"
~~~~~~
One day’s conversations with dad:
Convo #1 --
Me: "so Dad, what did you do today?"
Dad: "I put on my rollerskates and skated all over the house. Then I went out & helped the mailman. He was tired so I rollerskated the mail to the neighbors."
Then he asked me what I did that could possibly compare with that. I got nothing.
#2 --
Dad said that he heard you can stay warm in power outages by surrounding yourself with candles. He said all that would do is give enough light so you could see the cold goosebumps on your skin.
#3 --
He made turkey sandwiches for dinner. Plate was cold, bread was cold, turkey was cold, gravy was hot. Gravy froze to the plate.
I'm blue from laughing.
~~~~~
While driving mom to the podiatrist --
Mom: where are we going?
Me: to the foot doctor
Mom: I don't wanna go....
Me: okay (as I keep driving)
Mom: where are we going?
Me: to the foot doctor
Mom: I don't wanna go....
Me: okay (as I keep driving)
Mom: where are you taking me?
Me: we're going to Disneyland!
Mom: (giggling) you're being facetious, aren't you ..... I still know big words!
Me: do you have grocery requests?
Dad: bacon.
Me: any particular brand?
Dad: no, none of them taste good.
Maybe I should suggest a chocolate dipping sauce.
Me: we're going to Disneyland!
Mom: (giggling) you're being facetious, aren't you ..... I still know big words!
~~~~~
Me: do you have grocery requests?
Dad: bacon.
Me: any particular brand?
Dad: no, none of them taste good.
Maybe I should suggest a chocolate dipping sauce.
**********
For your continual enjoyment, here is the Youtube video of the folks singing their version of Chiquita Banana!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X8D7gbOUgo
**********
Annnnnddd ... f you're so inclined, below is a blog-story that you may (or may not) enjoy. I wrote it while in the midst of our caregiving adventure.
Over the last few years, as my husband and I were blessed with being caretakers for my parents, we noticed a common refrain. One or both of them would say, “I don’t want to be a bother!” They were sure that they were depriving us of a much more exciting life. They thought they were doing us a favor by trying to do things themselves (like driving!) instead of asking us. They didn’t
always tell us when one of them took a tumble, or spent several days searching for a lost object, or botched a recipe. They wanted to appear as strong and independent as possible. As much as we tried to help them understand that it is a privilege, a gift from God, to care for them, they still worried about being bothersome
to my Doug and me. Sometimes I sabotaged their worry by walking in the door bearing groceries and started right off by whining to them, “you’re right, you guys really ARE a bother, we could be extreme sporting in his-and-hers barrels over Niagara Falls!” Thankfully, despite weak eyes, ears, and knees, they still had a strong sense of humor.
One day, it occurred to me -- sometimes I have that same mindset towards God, of not wanting to be a bother to Him by prayer, petition, or intercession. Do I really think that I’m doing Him a favor by not telling Him when I mess up, because I suspect He’s probably
busier with more important things, and because I want to appear strong and independent? Do I really think I’m making His life easier by trying to handle everything myself?
My loving Father, You already know everything about me and my life, so why would I even consider holding anything back from You, the Creator of all things? Is anything a bother to You, too difficult for You? No. I thank You that I was given the right, through belief in Christ, to be called Your adopted child (John 1:12-13).
I thank You for the scriptural reminders that my Jesus reconciled me to You (Romans 5:10), gifting me with bold and confident access to You, through Him, in the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 2:18, 3:12). It is a privilege and a
gift from You to care for me!
Every day, You regularly call Your children to draw near to You. What a relief, and how I praise You, that because of the gift of Your Son, I know that I can never be a bother to You.
"Honor your father and your mother."
(Exodus 20:12; Matthew 15:4)
